


Last Christmas (working title)

by kat_r_n



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Holidays, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Memories, Mountains, Secrets, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-10-29 03:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17800481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kat_r_n/pseuds/kat_r_n
Summary: Spending Christmas at a cabin in the mountains with all his friends. That sounds like a brilliant plan to Harry, until his ex Louis tags along.Will Harry be able to hide his still remaining feelings? Will Louis finally reveal his reasons for leaving Harry? Can two weeks in the mountains change their fate?or: The one in which Louis broke up with Harry without explaining why, and Niall is determined to bring them back together.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Soo this is my very first fan-fiction and I hope you'll enjoy it. It's also the first fiction that I've written in English so bear with me...
> 
> I got the inspiration from the music video to Last Christmas by Wham! and I decided to upload it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to everyone who even considered reading it!
> 
> A merry Larry Christmas!
> 
> K xx

“So are you bringing someone?"Niall asked for the hundredth time. By now Harry was absolutely annoyed and snapped back: “Why Niall? Why should I bring someone? Can't I just enjoy a Christmas holiday with my friends?" He didn't know why Niall was being so persistent and did not let go of the topic. “Well, I just thought...never mind", Niall mumbled and Harry could tell by the look in his eyes that there was a reason.

“Niall tell me or I won't come at all!" "Promise you won't be mad!" "Why should I be mad? What did you do?" "So you know I have this friend from work, Zayn..." "Yes Niall, I know Zayn. We're probably friends by now, considering the number of times we met through you. What has that to do with the holiday?" "Well", Niall nervously bit his lip before he continued, "I invited him to join and come with us and I also suggested he could bring his boyfriend." Harry scrunched his eyebrows, his confusion growing by the minute. Niall took a deep breath before he added a last sentence really fast: "And he is with Louis now, so Louis is coming too."

For a moment Harry just stood there and blinked. Then the expression in his eyes changed and got harder. "Niall! How could you! You told him he could bring Louis?! Are you serious right now? Do you really want to ruin my holidays?" Taken aback by the loudness of Harry's voice Niall took a few steps back. "I'm really sorry. I didn't know he was with Louis. I swear. If I had known, I wouldn't have invited him! I could never do that to you!" "Fuck Niall! All I wanted was a relaxed holiday in the mountains with my friends. Now I don't even know if I should go..." Harry sunk on the couch and buried his face in his hands. "No Harry, you have to come!" Niall sat next to him a worried look on his face. "You're my best friend, I need you there! And who will cook that delicious food if you're not there? Please, I know the situation is not easy and I'm sorry but that's why I asked you to bring someone, so you're not alone." After a few seconds that seemed like minutes Harry pulled his face out of his hands and said with some kind of resignation: "Okay, I'll bring someone. That is, if I find someone who wants to go with me. It's a bit short notice." "Well you could always ask that guy you met at Uni. You already had a date and I can tell he really likes you. What was his name again?" "Liam. You're right. I'll ask him if he wants to come."

 

A week later Harry sat in the back of Niall's car. In the front Niall and his longtime girlfriend Hailee were bickering about something. Next to Harry was Liam. When Harry had asked him, if he wanted to come and stay at a cabin in the mountains for the holidays, he really had been excited. At first Harry felt really guilty when he saw Liam that happy. After all he asked him to come so he wouldn't have to face Louis alone. However, after a few days the guilt faded. Harry and Liam were sort of dating before Harry even knew that Louis was coming so Harry told himself that it was completely normal to invite Liam on a cozy and romantic trip for Christmas. They would have fun and grow closer and maybe he could like Liam in that way. With all those thoughts running through his mind Harry watched the landscape rushing by, first green, then brown, then white. "Oh look the snow! I really look forward to skiing!" Niall exclaimed as they drove past the first patches of snow indicating they were nearing the mountains.

As they were approaching the valley station of the cable car, where they would park the cars, Harry was getting more nervous. He felt that strange feeling in his stomach that reminded him of a rollercoaster ride. As they turned around the corner the station appeared in front of them and next to it there were already parked two cars and a few people seemed to wait for them. It took Harry one look to spot Louis between all the others. The matter of course of his look switching to that feathery haired boy hit Harry hard. And even before he got out of the car he knew that the next few days would be his death.


	2. Chapter 1

“Ready to meet the people?" Harry smiled reassuringly at Liam and then got out of the car. As they approached the little group in front of them Liam shifted closer to Harry and lightly laid his hand on Harry's back while shooting him an almost questioning glance. Harry smiled at him and nodded his head to reassure Liam and then they reached the group. Niall was already discussing something with Olly and his girlfriend whose name Harry couldn't remember.

Almost immediately Harry was snatched by some people and buried between various bodies and arms, everyone happy to see him again. Liam took a step back and watched the scene curiously, not wanting to disturb and giving them time to reunite. "H, there you are! Long time no see, how have you been?" "Stop chocking me and I will tell you Nick!" The lad let Harry go with a laugh and then spotted Liam. "Who is this?" Harry took Liam's hand aware of all the eyes on him. They all knew what had happened last year and that Harry hadn't been with anybody since then. "This is Liam. We met at Uni a couple months ago and he was willing to accompany me so that I wouldn't be alone with all of you." Nick gave Liam a small hug, introducing himself. But Harry barely paid attention by this time.

He had finally met Louis' eyes for the first time in a year and it took him all he had to not look away and show his feelings that were still hidden underneath the surface. He shot Louis a small smile, his eyes traveling to Zayn's hand around his waist. Then Zayn approached him: "Hey mate! Good to see you. Looking forward to the next few days?" Harry gave Zayn a hug, after all he wasn't mad at him for being with Louis. Zayn didn't know they had a history. He hadn't been around then. "Hey, good to see you too. Of course, I'm excited! Can't wait to enjoy the snow!"

 After he had greeted everyone and Liam was properly introduced, they started to load their baggage in the cable car cabins. It took them a while till everything was out of the cars. They planned on staying two weeks over Christmas and New Year's Eve. This was a long tradition for Harry and Niall who had come to the cabin with their families since forever to spend the Christmas holidays. As they grew older they started bringing friends and finally coming on their own as their parents decided it was too much of an effort to get everything they needed up the mountain. And it really was a massive effort because besides their normal luggage like clothes and Christmas gifts they had to bring everything from food to skis to Christmas decorations. But Harry loved the cabin and couldn't imagine celebrating Christmas anywhere else and that was the reason why he agreed on coming even if he had to watch the love of his life being happy in love with someone else.

 

“Welcome home!" Niall exclaimed throwing the door of the cabin open with one motion and lead the group inside. Harry shuddered. It was freezing inside. He searched for the basket with fire wood and started to make a fire right away. Then he looked around and took in the familiarity of the cabin. It looked like always. The dark green couch with velvet cushions standing in the middle of the big living area. The stove, the wooden floor covered with red carpets feeling so soft under his feet. The empty corner near the window where they would put the Christmas tree and an old, rusty piano against the back wall. Since Harry's childhood nothing ever changed up here and he loved it.

 He could hear Niall and Olly arguing about how to split the bedrooms. Of course all couples would share rooms only leaving Nick alone, his girlfriend only coming for New Year's Eve. Harry took his bag and mentioned Liam to follow him up the narrow stairs under the roof where the bedrooms were. He walked right up to the last door at the end of the corridor.

This had always been his room, at first he shared it with his sister Gemma then later on with Niall and last year with Louis. And no matter how hard Niall and Olly argued about who was getting which room Harry would never sleep anywhere else. He opened the door and let Liam walk in first, his eyes automatically darting to the one bed they were going to share. "It's really nice up here. I never imagined it being so big. I think the next few days will be great!" Liam exclaimed and let himself fall onto the bed. Harry chuckled at his excitement. "I'm glad you like it. Do you think you'll get along with all the others?" "Of course! They all seem very nice. Especially Niall just makes everyone feel welcome." "Great. Yeah, that's one of the reasons Niall's my best friend actually." Harry's lips formed a soft smile as he thought about everything he went through together with Niall.

 Harry had met Niall when he was five. It had been Harry's first day at the new school and he had been terribly afraid of never finding friends again. But then he had seen Niall sitting alone at his desk and had decided to take the seat next to him. Niall had been new too and delighted to have made a friend so quickly. From this day on they had been inseparable. Their parents had soon gotten friends as well and a year later they had celebrated their first Christmas at the cabin together. As they had grown older both boys had changed but always had stuck together. Harry had helped Niall dying his hair blond for the first time and had comforted him when he had gotten mocked about it. Niall had been the first person Harry had talked to when he had found out he liked boys and Niall had been incredibly supportive ever since.

When they had gone to Uni they had started sharing a room but Niall had met Hailee and had eventually moved in with her. But even then they had stayed as close as possible, considering each other brothers. Niall had been overjoyed when Harry had told him about Louis, wishing his best friend nothing but love. Then after Louis had left Niall had been furious, threatening to kill him for what he'd done. And now, Harry couldn't help but smile, they were at the cabin again. Harry with a potential new love and Niall with Hailee and a ring in his pocket. When Niall had opened up to Harry about proposing to Hailee and had asked him to be his best man, Harry had been so happy he had shed a little tear. So, of course Niall would do anything to make Liam feel welcome among the friends, and Harry was very thankful for that, seeing that he himself had been slightly distracted today.

 

After he had unpacked his bag, Harry went downstairs to start cooking dinner. It was always him who cooked while they were up in the cabin. Niall loved food more than anything but his cooking skills were limited to mac and cheese. Harry sighed as he went through the baskets of food they had brought and tried to organize himself so that he would find everything throughout the week. Then he started chopping carrots while listening to the voices of the others that filled the cabin.

Not long after he'd started the others joined him downstairs and started to clean and set the table. Liam stood next to him and watched him finishing the sauce. "Can I help you with anything? I feel bad just standing around and watching." "Don't worry, I'm almost finished anyways. And I like you watching me." Harry gave Liam a timid smile. He had decided that he needed to stop thinking about what happened last year and to enjoy this Christmas with Liam. He really wanted a new relationship and he couldn't see why it wouldn't work with Liam. Liam beamed at him and after a short moment of hesitation he placed a kiss on Harry's cheek. As he pulled back a loud clang was heard.

They both turned to see Louis who apparently had dropped the knives and was now collecting them from the floor, mumbling an apology without lifting his gaze from the tiles. "Harry when is dinner ready? I'm starving!" Niall stormed into the kitchen, holding his tummy to show how serious he was. Harry blinked, his eyes still fixed on Louis, then he looked at Niall and shook his head. "It's ready now, so please get everyone at the table."


	3. Chapter 2

The next morning when everyone was gathered in the living room after breakfast, they discussed what to do today. The girls, Hailee and Charlotte (Harry had finally remembered the name of Olly's girlfriend), wanted to get the house all ready and decorated for Christmas so that they could enjoy the rest of the stay without worrying about it.

“But look at the sun outside! I really want to enjoy the weather while it's good!" Niall argued and most of the boys agreed. "And we need to think about getting the Christmas tree!" After a lot of back and forth Liam raised his voice for the first time this morning: "What about going out, getting a tree from the woods and then afterwards we can all decorate the cabin together?" "Yeah, I like this idea. That way everybody gets what they want", Zayn stated and grinned at Liam. They both were still a little shy around the others as they both were at the cabin for the first time. Harry wrapped his arms around Liam to reassure him and nodded: "Yes, I think that's a great plan."

As everyone seemed to agree to Liam's plan they started to dress themselves, everyone searching their cloves and scarfs. Harry put on his gray beanie and looked around to search for his matching scarf and cloves. His breath hitched as his eyes fell on the blue scarf wrapped around Louis' neck.

It was the scarf Harry had knitted last year, determined to actually have a handmade gift to give to Louis. He remembered picking out the wool in the store next to their favorite café, he had chosen it because the tone of blue matched Louis' eyes perfectly. He had been so proud when the scarf was finished although it was uneven and had some holes in it. Louis had loved it and had wrapped it around his neck immediately, only then he had spotted the concert tickets Harry had hidden in the scarf, the actual gift. Tickets to a concert Harry never got to see because Louis left.

Harry concentrated on holding back his tears while putting on his coat. Why did Louis still have this scarf? It was holey and uneven, he could have easily bought a new and better one. Before Harry could wrap his thoughts around it Niall nudged him with his elbow and mentioned to the door. Only then Harry realized that the others had already left the cabin and were on their way to the forest.

 

It was a perfect winter day. The snow glittered in the sun and creaked under their feet as they made their way across a wide field towards the near forest. The cool air colored their cheeks and noses red and transformed every breath into a small cloud.

All sad thoughts from before were wiped from Harry's mind as he walked through his own personal winter wonderland next to Niall. Liam was a few meters in front of him, seeming to have a deep talk with Zayn. They really got along very well. For the first time since they arrived at the cabin Harry wasn't aware of Louis presence, who was having a snowball fight with Nick and Olly.

“It feels like always, doesn't it?" Niall asked with a smile tugging on his lips while he watched their friends having fun. "Yes, I think so", Harry answered reluctantly, knowing that after last year it would never feel the same way it used to feel. Niall knew what Harry was hinting at without having to look at him. "I know it is hard, but I think you're doing amazing so far. I like Liam a lot." Harry sighed, letting a few minutes go by before answering: "I don't really know what to feel, it all is kind of overwhelming. I like Liam too, he is a nice guy, but as hard as I try there is no tingling yet, not even the slightest." Then after a slight pause he added: "It still hurts too much, I can't help it." Hearing this Niall put his arm around Harry's shoulders and squeezed him a bit. "I know, but you're moving on. I'm proud of you."

Before he could add anything else he was hit on the chest by a snowball. "Come on you two, stop chatting and get in the fight!" Nick yelled while trying to dodge another snowball that Olly threw at him. "Oh you're so on! No one hits a Horan without facing the consequences!" With a determined look on his face Niall began to gather enough snow in his hands to from a snowball. Harry watched Niall getting into the fight and decided to join his side. After all they were brothers and had to defend each other's pride.

After the first intense minutes of the fight, they all slowed down, out of breath and starting to sweat underneath their coats. Olly surrendered first after Niall and Harry had grabbed him by both sides and had stuffed snow down the back of his coat, leaving Nick and Louis alone. Next Niall gave up, not able to move because he was laughing so hard. That left Harry against Nick and Louis.

Harry tried to shoot them but he had never been great at throwing and so he missed almost all the time. Nick started to chase him, running a circle around Niall and Olly who were sitting on the ground. Harry clumsily slithered on the icy ground trying to stay on his feet and getting away from Nick. He turned around to see how much space there was left between them and lost his balance. While falling he hit another body, he tried to hold onto it but as he was quite tall he knocked the other person over with him.

When he opened his eyes he found himself staring into deep blue seas. His breath hitched. He was lying on Louis, not able to move a single muscle, as if hypnotized by his blue eyes. Louis didn't seem to be moving either both staring at each other, faces just inches apart. Harry's eyes traveled down to Louis's lips and back to his eyes and for a millisecond he found himself leaning in when his vision got blocked by snow. "Ha! Gotcha!" Nick yelled triumphantly, rubbing snow in Harry's face.  
  


Slowly but surely goosebumps were spreading all over Harry's body. His feet were wet because his shoes weren't holding off the snow anymore and his nose was running. But they hadn't found the perfect Christmas tree yet, so he was determined to wander through the woods for however long it would take.

The girls had surrendered half an hour ago and had returned to the cabin to make tea for everyone. The boys were pointing out trees every few meters but Harry was very picky about the right Christmas tree and he wasn't fully satisfied yet. "What about this one H?" Nick yelled for the thousandth time that day. "No it's way too big, how would we fit it in the cabin?" Harry barely glanced at the tree as he walked by, shaking his head.

He knew he was being annoying but he couldn't help it, without the perfect Christmas tree he wouldn't be able to enjoy the holidays. Niall, who knew the drill, just trotted along chatting with Liam and Zayn, barely paying attention to the trees at all. Harry focused back on the trees he passed. They all were either too big or small, to bushy or too bare, too crooked or too straight. There had been years were Harry had searched for the right tree for days, but now with all of them being at Uni or work they hadn't enough time to do that, so he had to find the perfect tree today, preferably in the next hour before it would get dark outside.

While Harry was imagining the perfect tree in his mind he almost stumbled across Louis who stood in the middle of the woods facing a tree, staring at it. "What is it?" Harry asked, watching Louis intently as he didn't move at all. "I think I found it. What do you think Haz?" Louis mumbled still gazing at the tree. Harry tried to ignore the tug at his heart as he heard Louis' old nickname for him and focused all his attention on the tree in front of Louis.

He was right, it was the perfect tree. And Harry had almost missed it. How could he not have seen it? How did Louis know that this was exactly what Harry was looking for? "Guys! We found it! That's it!" Harry exclaimed excited waving at the lads who were a few meters behind. What Harry missed in all his excitement was Louis looking at him with a fond smile before he bit his lip and turned to join Zayn and Liam.

 

On their way back to the cabin Harry walked next to Olly, listening to his newest stories from work while closely watching Louis and Zayn who casually walked next to each other in front of them. He tried his best to push back the feelings that were boiling under the surface, getting angrier at himself by the minute. He had been fine, the last two months he had been fine. He hadn't thought about Louis constantly, only allowing the memories to come back at night. He had met Liam. Everyone around him had been so happy and relieved seeing him enjoying life again.

And now after less than 48 hours of seeing Louis again all was gone. The feelings were back, the questions, the anger and the confusion and it seemed that there was nothing he could do about it.

He saw Louis' eyes crinkle as he laughed at something Zayn had told. Trying to avoid looking at Louis' eyes at all Harry fixed his gaze at Zayn's arm that was wrapped protectively around Louis's waist. Something about that sight disturbed him heavily, apart from the obvious reason that it was Zayn and not himself holding Louis.


	4. Chapter 3

It was two whole hours later, they were decorating the cabin by now, when it finally dawned at Harry what disturbed him so much about seeing Louis with Zayn. It was the fact that Zayn seemed to be the one protecting Louis, being all careful and soft with him while Louis remained passive.

When Harry had been with Louis, it had been quite different. Louis had always been around Harry making sure he was okay, protecting him from whatever harm there was. When Harry had been cold Louis would have given him his coat, when Harry had been tired he'd carried him to bed even though Harry was taller. Harry remembered the numerous times they had bumped into people or awkwardly had pressed through a door because Louis refused to let go of Harry, fearing he'd lose him or something. And now here he was, seeming to enjoy to be taken care of by Zayn, not even trying to be the protective one.

Liam snatched him out of his thoughts by waving candles in front of his eyes. "Harry can you tell me where the candle holders are?" "Sure just follow me." Harry led Liam out of the living room into the basement. Liam had grabbed his hand when he helped him up and hadn't let go. This little gesture made Harry feel guilty instantly.

Here he was at the cabin with Liam as his guest thinking about Louis all the time. That had to change right now! Louis was happy with Zayn, so Harry could be happy with Liam. Happier than he had ever been! With a determined look in his eyes he turned to Liam once they were at the bottom of the stairs and kissed him. It was simple but sweet kiss, not the first they'd shared but the first since Harry had asked Liam to come to the cabin with him. Liam let out a surprised squeal. "What was that for?"

“Well, uhm, for you being here with me?" Suddenly Harry wasn't sure anymore what he was even doing here. He wasn't used to this, to have to force himself to be a good partner. Normally those things came naturally to him, without any effort. He would just be really hyper and would come up with the most ridiculous but romantic ideas. Showing his love had never been difficult for Harry, once a person truly captured his heart he just couldn't help himself and tell them again and again and again until they were sick of hearing it.

“Harry are you okay?" "Huh?" "You seemed to have zoned out there. Everything alright?" Liam now looked worried. "Oh, sorry. Yes, everything is alright I'm just tired I guess." Harry brushed it off and reached behind some shelves to grab the candle holders they were looking for. "Here you go." He gave a pair to Liam and they left the basement without talking about the kiss again.

 

The rest of the day went by really fast with all the decorations and preparations for the holidays. Now they all were scattered all over the couch and floor in front of the stove, telling embarrassing stories about each other. "Remember that one time Zayn had an actual breakdown because he forgot his hairspray at home and it was really windy outside, so he refused to leave the house and he stayed at mine and Harry's for the night? He would have slept on our couch forever if Harry hadn't gone and bought hairspray for him the next day." Niall barked out holding his stomach and trying not to fall off the couch.

Harry who was in the kitchen making hot cocoa for everyone chuckled. Oh yes, he remembered that night exactly. It had been one of the first times Harry had met Zayn and it had made him less intimidating. He took the pot of hot cocoa and reentered the living room. Zayn sat on the floor his cheeks flushed in embarrassment, his head nuzzled in Louis' neck who sat between his legs and seemed quite amused.

Harry ignored the inner growl at the sight of Zayn cuddling Louis and began filling up the cups handing them to his friends. Louis absentmindedly took his cup from Harry, concentrating on the story Olly was telling quite animated. "Thanks, love." Harry froze in his motion and suck air in sharply. Louis didn't even seem to notice what he just had said. He just sipped at his cup and watched Olly imitating some strange guy at the club. Harry, however, wasn't in control of his body anymore. He stood frozen to the spot, memories flashing before his eyes.

 

_It was one of the first warm days of the year, a promise that spring was right around the corner. Harry opened his coat and enjoyed the sun shining on his face as he made his way across the campus and right to the music store down the road. He had a list of supplies in his pocket that his teacher had recommended. At the moment he tried to improve his composing skills, but so far all he produced was a simple little tune. Now he was on his way to buy that book his teacher told him about and a huge amount of staff paper._

_His steps got faster as he approached the store and Harry had to force himself to slow down. He knew exactly why he was that eager to go to the music store. He had quit denying it weeks ago when Niall started to tease him about it. Every time Harry sat foot in the store he hoped to see that guy again who worked there as apparently everything from shop assistant to char._

_Harry had a major crush on him but he was way too shy to make a move. He wasn't even able to form correct English sentences when he spoke to the guy so how could he ask him out? Also he didn't know anything about him apart from his name that was written on his name tag. Louis. Harry always wondered how it was pronounced but he hadn't worked up the courage yet to ask him about it. Louis was always nice to him, smiling at him and helping him, trying to build a conversation. More than once Harry had laid in bed and wondered if that was his typical behavior around costumers or if he liked him too at least a little bit._   
_When Harry entered the store a tiny bell above the door rang. He let his look wander over the shelves but he couldn't spot Louis. Disappointment washing over him, he made his way to the shelf with staff paper looking for the cheapest one. "Can I help you, curly?" Harry turned around abruptly, staring at Louis, tugging his wild brown curls behind his ear. Louis was looking at him expectantly and Harry realized that he should say something in return. "Umm...I...I was looking for staff paper and a book." Louis smiled at him brightly. "Well, you already found the staff paper as it seems. So, what book are you looking for exactly?" Harry took out the piece of paper and read the title: “Fundamentals of Musical Composition by Arnold Schoenberg." "Oh, so you're into composing?" Louis led the way towards the back of the store where all books stood. "Well, umm, I just thought I might give it a try."_

_Harry's cheeks were flushed as he tried really hard to answer Louis as normal as possible to reduce the level of embarrassment to a minimum. Louis just nodded and halted in front of a huge book shelf, scanning the book titles. When he spotted the book he was looking for he got on his tip toes and tried to reach it. Harry just stood there and stared, how could someone be so adorable yet so sexy? Nope, he absolutely wasn't looking at the small stripe of skin that showed between Louis' shirt and his jeans. He also wasn't checking out his bum, his beautiful, round and quite big bum._

_“Like what you see?" Louis shot him a smirk and grabbed the book. Harry's cheeks got even pinker than before and he tried to avoid Louis's gaze. But somehow he wasn't able to, that damn blue eyes were like little magnets, he just had to look at them. Louis let his eyes wander over Harry for some more seconds. When he met Harry's eyes again he asked: "Can I get you anything else, love?" Harry's heart skipped a beat at hearing the pet name. By now, he was sure, his face resembled a tomato._

_He couldn't find any words so he just shook his head. Louis smiled at him again. Maybe he didn't mean to say it. Maybe it was an accident. It must have been. Harry got his money out and handed it to Louis. Louis gave him the bag with his book and staff paper. "Here you go, love. I hope you come back soon." There it was again. Twice. That couldn't be a mistake. Harry managed a small smile and turned towards the door._

_“Oh and curly, I think that you will be wonderful at composing." Louis called just a moment before Harry was out the door. That night Harry laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Louis. It was the first night he dreamed about his dazzling blue eyes._

 


	5. Chapter 4

Hot water was hitting his shoulders, running down his body, soothing his tense muscles. Harry wasn't sure how long he'd already been in the shower. He hoped the others wouldn't notice his absence. He tried to just stand there with closed eyes and feel the water run over his body. But today the water wasn't helping him, it wasn't calming him down. His thoughts were racing through his mind.

He knew it had been a bad idea to come here after last year. Even before he knew that Louis would come too, he had thought about not going to avoid all the memories. All progress he made over the last few months was suddenly washed away. Here he was at a cabin with a guy who might like him, thinking about a guy he liked, a guy who obviously didn't like him back, not anymore. What a mess!

Harry knew he shouldn't go home. He'd promised Niall to stay and help him and also he really wanted to witness the proposal. But Harry also knew that he couldn't go on like this. He could not pretend to have feelings for Liam. That wasn't fair to him. Liam should have the opportunity to celebrate Christmas with his family. Also Harry had to tell him that he wasn't ready to date anyone. Most of all Harry knew he couldn’t stay at the cabin alone when Louis was here with Zayn. There was just so much pain he could stand right now and seeing them together and being alone himself was just too much to take. So if Liam left Harry would leave as well. What would the others think if he left just two days before Christmas? What would Louis think?

Louis. How could Harry act normal in his presence? How would he survive Christmas and New Year's Eve without crying himself to sleep when Louis and Zayn were so clearly happy in love right in front of him? Why had the world to be so cruel? What did he do to deserve this? After a few more minutes of self-pity Harry shook his head so vehement that drops were flying from his hair like from a dog. He had to do something, and he had to do it now! He would tell Liam everything, so that he could decide what to do. Then everything else would follow. He would just tackle one obstacle at a time. Yes, that was his plan!

 

Finally they all went to bed that night. Harry sat at the edge of the bed and waited for Liam to come out of the bathroom. He wanted to talk to him now. Then he was going to sleep on the couch and the next day Liam could go home if he wanted to. Harry's leg was bobbing nervously and he bit his lip. God, he really hoped Liam wasn't too mad. When Liam left the bathroom and saw Harry sitting tense on the bed he raised one eyebrow: "Is everything alright?"

Harry took a deep breath before he started. He had to do it now. Rip of the Band-Aid. "Actually, I need to talk to you." Liam nodded slowly and sat next to Harry both facing the window. "Umm, I really don't know how to say this so that you won't be mad. Just know that I'm really sorry." Harry formed a fist with is hand, tensing up even more. Liam now looked at him worriedly. "What happened?"

“Well, I think I should just start from the beginning. Before we met I really was a mess, I had just gotten out of relationship and the breakup hit me hard. You were the first guy after that who sparked my interest again. I really enjoyed our date and I love how easy it is to talk and laugh with you, how well you get on with my friends. I really like you, but just as a friend." Harry looked at Liam, trying to guess his reaction. But Liam just sat there nodding. When he opened his mouth to say something Harry continued quickly: "No I'm not finished! Please just listen to the whole story. I think you deserve an explanation."

Liam shut his mouth again and waited for Harry to continue. So far it hadn't been too bad, he hadn't screamed at Harry or anything. That gave Harry the courage to go on with his story. “Like I said, I had a relationship before we met. With Louis. When Niall told me Zayn was coming to the cabin with us this holiday and that he would bring his boyfriend Louis, I didn't want to come. But Niall said that I needed to move on and he's right. So I asked you, because we'd already been out and I'd enjoyed it. I know I should have been brave and come alone or just stay at home and I'm sorry to drag you into this whole mess. I really thought that I could start to like you that way and that I could get over Louis like this more easily. Over the last two days I realized that I won't be over Louis for a long time and that I couldn't like you or anyone before I wasn't. I'm so so sorry, I know I messed up and I absolutely understand if you want to leave. I decided to tell you now so that you can celebrate Christmas with your family and friends. I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight. I'm really sorry and I hope that you don't hate me now. Maybe we still can talk at Uni? But we don't have to!"

After that Harry stood up, he wanted to leave the room and let Liam get to sleep. He couldn't look him in the eyes but he was glad that everything was out now. "Harry, stay." Liam's voice was calm and friendly like always. Harry stopped at the door. "I'd like to say something too, if you don't mind." Harry shook his head and got back to the bed. When he sat next to Liam again, Liam started talking:

“First I want to say thank you for telling me everything now. I appreciate it and I'm glad that it was so early. Of course it's not nice to hear someone say they don't like you, but if I'm perfectly honest I knew that this wasn't going to work. I mean, I never felt that spark between us. When you asked me if I wanted to come I really was excited, because it meant that I had an excuse why I couldn't visit my aunt Maddie over the holidays. Don't get me wrong, she's a really nice, old lady and I love her, but two weeks of her constant attendance is just too much for everyone. So, I really would like to stay here at the cabin if that's alright."

“Of course!" Harry exclaimed, relieved that Liam wasn't mad. In his excitement he hugged Liam so hard that they fell backwards on the bed. Liam chuckled as he untangled himself from Harry. "Now, do you want to talk about the Louis' thing? I mean, you don't have to of course. I just thought it might help to sort the mess a bit, to have an ally in this house...Also I'm really curious. I spend the last two days wondering about that weird energy between the two of you. I actually asked Zayn about it, but he didn't know anything."

Harry let out a surprised laugh. "Yes, Zayn wasn't around when we were together, so he wouldn't know. Are you sure you want to hear the whole story? It's a bit of a long one. And there's obviously no happy ending." "Now come on, don't tantalize me! I want to hear everything!"

 


	6. Chapter 5

_It was Harry's first week at Uni and he slowly got accustomed to the ways everything worked. Moving in the small apartment across the campus with Niall had been extremely exciting and exhausting at the same time. Two days ago Harry had finally unboxed his last belongings and now he was focused on getting all his books and other stuff he needed for his courses. One of the locals in his_ Introduction to Music Theory _had recommended him a music shop right down the street to get his books, so that was where he was headed right now._

_Once inside the shop, he realized that almost half of it was designated to records and instruments and the other half to accessories, technology and various books. He must have stood in front of the book shelves for several minutes, scanning the titles without discovering the one he was looking for, when a voice behind him caught his attention._

_“Excuse me, can I help you with anything? Are you looking for something...uh....sp-special?" When Harry turned around he faced a guy, smaller than him, with feathery brown hair. He seemed to be a shop assistant, wearing a red shirt with the store's logo and a name tag: Louis. Somehow Harry seemed to have startled the guy but he seemed to have picked up courage by now and smiled at him politely waiting for Harry to answer._

_Being shy in general and intimidated by the beauty of the guy in front of him in particular Harry barely managed to stutter out the title of the book he was looking for quietly. "Umm...I-I was looking for_ An Introduction to Music Studies _." "Ahh, first semester studying music?" The guy, Louis, led him to another shelf and Harry walking behind him couldn't but notice his well-rounded bum. This didn't help him keeping cool at all. How on earth could someone be that perfect?_

_“Y-Yes, uhmm, English and Music actually. I-I want become a teacher." Why couldn't he stop stuttering? Sure he was shy but normally he was at least able to get out a proper sentence without completely embarrassing himself. Louis didn't seem to mind though, he just smiled at him again and continued talking: "Well, then you'll be delighted to hear that students get 10 percent off on books and supplies. Here you go." He handed Harry the book and navigated him through the store right to the cash register._

_While Harry paid he realized that Louis was staring at his mouth intently. That made Harry blush furiously. He was relieved when Louis finally handed him the bag and the receipt. "Here you go. I hope you have fun with it." He winked at Harry. Harry muttered out a "Thank you" and turned around to leave as fast as possible to not embarrass himself further in front of that very fit guy. "I hope you come back soon, curly!" He heard Louis call after him and then he was outside at the pavement breathing in the fresh air, trying to slow down his heartbeat._

 

“From that day on I went there twice a week, just to see him. I was a goner from the first time." Harry chuckled at himself, shaking his head. "After a few times I managed to talk to him a bit, really just small things, but no matter what Louis always talked to me. In hindsight he'd flirted really obviously, calling me pet names and stuff, but at that time I never realized. I probably was too focused on not making a bigger fool out of me than I did anyway."

 

_A month later Harry was roaming through the records and trying to watch Louis without staring too much. Louis was currently talking to an older lady who seemed to be interested in buying a piano, so Louis hadn't talked to Harry yet. Normally Harry would just look at some records or other stuff and Louis would stand by and talk to him occasionally give him some information on the things they looked at. Harry rarely bought something, just staff paper and a record from time to time._

_After another five minutes the lady finally left and Louis turned to him. "Hey curly, how are you today?" Harry as always just muttered a quiet "Fine, you?" In all these weeks his insecurities around Louis hadn't dropped and he still preferred to listen to him quietly, just smiling and nodding and admiring his face._

_Today Harry actually wanted to buy something in particular, a record for his sister, whose birthday was just around the corner. After checking in his computer Louis told him that he didn't have it in stock right now but that Harry could order it and then it would be there in two days. So Harry ordered the record and was ready to leave the shop when Louis grabbed his wrist to stop him._

_Harry froze at the skin to skin contact, he could feel his cheeks heat up. "I um wondered...Would you maybe like to go out with me some time?" Louis smiled at him brightly as always but when Harry didn't answer the look in his eyes got insecure. Harry himself felt paralyzed. Of course there had been other guys asking him out but never did he think about Louis wanting to go out with him._

_Harry began to panic, how could he go on a date with Louis if even the easiest conversation with him was impossible for Harry? It was a mere wonder that Louis hadn't realized what a boring person he was yet. When he would actually spend time with him there would be no way he'd actually be interested. All these thoughts rushing through his head, Harry didn't know what else to do and just rushed out of the store without looking at Louis again and without answering his question._

 

_The next two days Harry debated whether he really needed the gift for his sister or whether he would just never go and get it, just so that he didn't need to face Louis ever again. Finally, after Niall nearly yelled at him, he decided he had to be brave and face this like a grown up. So on Friday after his courses he slowly made his way towards the music store, for the first time hoping Louis wouldn't be there. But of course he was._

_Mere seconds after Harry entered the store Louis was by his side. "Hey curly, I was waiting for you. I prepared something, I hope you don't have to be somewhere anytime soon." He led Harry to the back of the shop where someone built a table out of an old loudspeaker box. On the improvised table there were a teapot, cake and a vase with flowers. Louis cleared his throat. "I thought that, as you clearly didn't want to go out with me, maybe we could just stay in and have a nice afternoon together."_

_Harry stared at him like he was an alien. Who on earth would take his escape from last time and prepare a date anyway? "Only if you like, of course. I understand if you have to be somewhere, it's a bit short notice after all." Louis silently chuckled. Harry unable to make any noise just shot Louis a small smile and took a seat. Okay, so far so good, now he had to actually act normal and try to have a conversation._

_Louis took a seat as well and started pouring tea in their cups. "I know it's not ideal and I'll probably have to get up and serve a customer now and then, but-" "It's perfect!" Harry almost whispered to interrupt Louis' banter. At this Louis face lit up like the sun, his smile radiating like never before. At this point Harry decided that if nothing else he just wanted to make Louis smile like that in his life again._

 

“Well, and that was our first date. After a while I actually started to talk to him as well and just like that the afternoon was over and he had to close the shop. He walked me home that night and when we reached my apartment building he kissed me. Really it was just a little peck on the lips but to me it was the world." Harry's eyes glowed while talking. "Oh my, that is proper romantic. He really must have liked you to pull of something like that after you ran from him." Both, Harry and Liam chuckled at that.

“So how did it go on?" "It really just went from there extremely fast. A week later he asked me to be his boyfriend, two months later he moved in with me. I met his family, he met mine. It was perfect, like almost too perfect with hindsight. The second Christmas I took him with me to the cabin. A couple weeks ago I had discovered some booklets from several jewelers in which some rings were marked, so of course I expected him to propose at some point. And I would have said yes without hesitation. The week before Christmas he started to act weird but I just assumed it must be his nerves before the proposal. But we know how it went. The proposal never came and two weeks after the holidays he told me that he couldn't be in this relationship anymore, no further explanation. I broke down completely especially after he'd moved out. Niall threatened to kill him for weeks. The first time I saw him after that was just two days ago at the cable car station. So, that's basically everything there is to know."

 

“Thanks for telling me, H, I really appreciate it.” Liam shot Harry a short smile. When Harry didn’t say anything back but just stared at his hands, deep in thoughts, Liam gently nudged him. At this Harry looked up. “I guess I should pack my bags then.” He sighed. “What? Why?” Liam almost shouted, but contained himself at the last second. “Why?” He whispered instead. “There is no way in hell I’m staying when Louis is here with his new boyfriend. I’m not watching this!” “But you can’t just leave! What about Niall? And the others?” “Oh they’ll get over it. There are more than enough people up here.” “But, where will you spend Christmas then?” “Home I guess.” “Oh no! I’m not letting you spend Christmas home alone. Especially not when you sulking over your past relationship.” “I’m not sulking!” Harry pouted. Liam chuckled at that. “Seriously Harry, you can’t just leave. They need you here. I need you here. I hardly know the others. And who will cook for us? And make sure that everyone is alright?” Harry just shook his head. But Liam was determined to get him to stay. “There has to be something I can do to make you stay! I mean you came here in the first place, so clearly you thought you could handle Louis and Zayn!” “Yes, I thought I could handle it, but that was when I myself was dating and not the sad loser that still wasn’t over the relationship!” Harry finally snapped. But he immediately felt guilty about it. It wasn’t Liam’s fault that he was in this situation. “I’m sorry.” Liam practically ignored his shouting. “So you don’t want to stay because you don’t want Louis to see that you’re not over him? So you would stay if we were still dating?” At those words Harry’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Oh yes, Liam you’re a genius! You just pretend to be my boyfriend and I can stay!” “No, Harry, that was not what I meant!” “But it is the perfect solution!” Liam sat on the bed, shaking his head vehemently while Harry looked at him with puppy eyes. “Pretty, pretty please with cherry on top?” “No Harry, I don’t know. That would be lying to all of your friends.” “I know, but they wouldn’t know, we can break up right after the holidays, no harm done. We even can have a friendly breakup so that you can still be friends with the lads if you want.” Harry knew he was asking a lot from Liam, from dating to fake dating in less than an hour. But he desperately wanted to stay and witness Niall’s proposal. “Liam, please!” He whined. After a few moments Liam stood up. “I tell you what, I will think about it and tell you tomorrow morning.” “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Harry bounced on the bed excitedly. “This is no yes!” “But it is not no either!”

 


	7. Chapter 6

It was the middle of the night and Niall was rummaging through the kitchen cabinets, his feet were freezing on the cold tile floor and he was cursing himself for forgetting his slippers at home. Where did Harry store the chocolate chip cookies? He knew there had to be some somewhere, he had packed them himself.

It was his emergency pack that he always had to bring. When he got nervous he needed to eat, and chocolate chip cookies helped the most to calm his nerves. And right now he really needed something to calm his nerves! Earlier, before going to sleep, Hailee had almost found the ring. Niall had freaked out when he saw her going through his nightstand looking for the phone charger. Even now, just thinking back, his heart rate sped up again. This woman would ruin him some day, he was sure of it. He desperately needed food. Maybe there was chocolate somewhere?

He was going through the fridge when he jumped at a noise behind him. He spun around and released a loud breath when he saw it was only Liam coming down the stairs. "Hey, can't sleep either?" Niall asked and Liam sat on the kitchen counter. "No, just too many thoughts running through my head." "Yeah, tell me about it. Want some chocolate?" Niall had finally found a big chocolate bar in the very back of the fridge. Just plain dark one, but better than nothing.

Liam just shook his head. While Niall was chewing on his chocolate Liam started speaking again, quietly almost like a whisper. "So, Harry and I had a talk. And now I just can't stop my thoughts from running." "Do you want to talk about it?" Liam seemed to think about Niall's offer, hesitantly he responded. "I don't know. I mean I would like to talk to someone because it usually helps, but I don't know if Harry would be okay with it."

At this Niall began to chuckle. He and Harry never had any secrets from each other, well apart from that one time, and he was pretty sure whatever Harry had told Liam, he already knew about it. "Look mate, I respect your choice of not telling me, it shows you're a really good friend, but I am absolutely sure that I already know whatever Harry told you." Liam seemed to consider this and finally took a deep breath. "Okay, I guess you're right. It probably isn't anything big, Harry just told me about him and Louis, and that he doesn't like to date me anymore."

 

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." And Niall really was sorry. If he himself hadn't somehow managed to invite Louis on this trip, Harry would be okay right now and Liam would still have a chance. Niall sighed heavily. "So, what is it then that keeps you up?" Liam just shrugged, staring at the floor. "I guess I just keep trying to picture Harry and Louis as a happy couple. Also I wonder what Louis' reason for leaving was. Did he really not give any explanation whatsoever?"

Niall's chest tightened immediately. "No, he never said anything, he just left. I guess that's the main reason for Harry not being able to move on." Niall wasn't able to look Liam in the eyes as he said so. Of course, technically he was telling the truth, Louis really never said anything to anyone about his motives for leaving. But by now Niall was pretty sure he knew why he left.

 

Two months after the breakup Niall had met Louis at the hospital. Niall wanted to donate blood and had his blood tested for that when Louis entered the waiting room. Niall had had a hard time holding back his anger then. Harry was still devastated by then, only barely functioning and Niall's only desire was to make Louis suffer for that. But then Louis had looked so fragile, so skinny with dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't even noticed Niall sitting there, his look fixed to the ground. Louis had been called into a certain Dr. Adley's office. Later at home Niall had googled that doctor and had been shocked. Even though he thought he then knew what Louis' reason for leaving was, Niall just couldn't tell Harry. He knew Harry would confront Louis about it. Also it wasn't his place to tell, only Louis'.

 

“Were they really that happy as a couple then?" Liam suddenly asked, interrupting Niall's thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "Oh yes they were. Disgusting really!" He made a gagging sound. Liam grinned but then looked at him contemplative. "I just don't understand. Harry said Louis was going to propose but instead he broke up." "Oh yes, it really was a mess in the end. But everything else was like a fairy tale. An annoyingly sweet and happy and gay fairy tale. I have to admit I was a bit jealous sometimes. The two of them just seemed to fit so perfect, complementing each other, I am convinced to this day that whatever they had was some soul mate shit. It was really creeping me out some days how they communicated without even saying a word. And yes, Louis did want to propose. He had the ring and everything. Actually he was very sweet about it and asked me for advice first."

Niall chuckled fondly at the thought of a slightly overwhelmed Louis freaking out about a ring. Back then he really couldn't see why anyone would freak out because of a ring but now after months of ring searching himself he absolutely understood. Liam sighed, finally breaking a piece off the bar of chocolate for himself. "I just can't believe such love exists these days. And I absolutely refuse to believe that it just goes away without a reason!"

 “Why is this so important for you? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is totally sweet of you to care so much even after Harry told that he isn’t over Louis, but I don’t get it. Liam just shrugged, chewing on his chocolate, bur Niall could tell that there was more to it than selfless interest. “Oh come on, I know there is a reason, just spill it!” He groaned. “Okay, okay!” Liam held his hands in front of him defensively. “Harry said he would leave tomorrow morning. He doesn’t want to stay here and watch Louis and Zayn all being happy while he is still single and trying to get over Louis.” “But he can’t just leave! He promised! I need him!” Panic rose in Niall. How should he propose without his best friend? He needed his support. He needed him to keep him calm. He needed Harry to kick him in the ass if he was about to chicken out. Harry had promised! Before the panic could fully wash over him, Liam answered: “Yes I know, that’s what I told him! The only solution he proposed was that I should stay and pretend to be his boyfriend throughout the holidays.” “Genius, it’s settled then! For a moment I thought he really would leave!” Niall exclaimed relieved. “But Niall, I don’t know if I what to do it. I don’t know if I want to lie to all these people. Also I don’t know if I am any good in pretending to be a boyfriend.”

Niall stayed quiet for a few minutes, trying to find a way in which he could convince Liam to do it without revealing anything about the proposal. The only thing he came up with was to trigger Liam’s helper syndrome. “Liam, you have to do it. Just think about how much it would help Harry! Maybe he’ll even get over Louis. You can show him how good it feels to have somebody who actually cares and that it has not to be Louis who does. Also you would make him very happy, if he could stay.” And me too. Niall added in his mind. He could practically see Liam’s thoughts running. “I don’t know. Do you really think it could help?” “Yes, yes! I really think so! Please Liam, I need him here, you have to make him stay.” But Liam seemed still unsure. Without thinking further Niall revealed the true reason why he needed Harry so much. “Liam, please. I really need Harry with me. Especially this Christmas. How can I propose to Hailee without him to kick my ass about it? How?” Liam seemed startled than his face lit up. “You’re going to propose?” He asked excitedly. “Well, yes, but only if Harry is here. Without him I won’t go through with it. I know myself!” “I guess I have to do it then.” Liam said slowly. “Yes!” Niall pulled Liam into a tight hug, throwing the chocolate through the kitchen. “Thank you Liam!” “You’re welcome.” Liam chuckled. “I guess I will go and tell Harry then tomorrow.” He yawned. “And I should probably head to bed now.” Niall released Liam from the hug, so that he could leave. “Good night!” “Good night! And you will be the best pretend boyfriend ever, I’m sure of it!”


	8. Chapter 7

“And you will be the best pretend boyfriend ever, I’m sure of it!” Zayn heard Liam walk through the living room and towards the staircase. Only after he heard him close the bedroom door he sat up on the couch. His back was hurting already after just a few hours, thank God it was his turn sleeping in bed tomorrow. After Louis had seen the small bed they were supposed to share he had decided that there was no way in hell he would cuddle up at night with Zayn and that they would take turns sleeping on the couch. Zayn thought that this was risky because it was only a matter of time that someone would notice, but he agreed. It really was a miracle that neither Niall nor Liam had spotted him before. He had been woken by Niall’s search through the kitchen cabinets. He lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, slightly overwhelmed. The conversation he just had overheard running through his mind over and again. So Harry and Liam were faking a relationship too? For some reason, that definitely wasn’t the fact that a certain puppy-eyed boy was single, that revelation made him feel light in his chest. Niall still was in the kitchen and somehow Zayn’s curiosity about Louis’ life before he had met him was almost unbearable. Almost automatically Zayn stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He saw Niall through the doorway fiddling with a chocolate wrapper. Without overthinking it any further he just stated what was running through his mind: “So Louis and Harry are in love with each other.” He stopped halfway into the kitchen, awkwardly scratching his neck. Niall’s head whipped around. He just stared at Zayn seeming too startled to say something. Suddenly Zayn was aware of the awkwardness of the situation. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I must have fallen asleep on the couch.” He tried to explain. He knew he shouldn't have said something, well, he shouldn't have listened in the first place but after hearing Louis' name he couldn't stop himself.

“What do you mean, ARE in love?" Niall asked after a few moments, still staring at Zayn. He squinted his eyes. "Isn't that a bit weird, you knowing that your boyfriend is in love with someone else?" Niall seemed confused. And well, shit! Zayn totally forgot that he was supposed to act like Louis' boyfriend. Niall kept stuffing his face with chocolate while he watched Zayn intently. Zayn sighed. Maybe he should just tell the truth. Now that he knew that Liam and Harry weren't together he might as well. "Louis is not my boyfriend." And again Niall just stared at him like crazy, this time even stopping his chewing. "But..." He seemed unable to find the right words. Zayn then spotted the chocolate bar in Niall's hands. "Give me some chocolate and I'll explain!" Zayn reached for the chocolate and Niall hesitantly gave him a bit. “Here you go, now spill!" Zayn slowly chewed on his piece of chocolate, trying to win some time to sort his thoughts. Where should he begin? What should he tell? Louis would be pissed no matter what so he decided to just tell everything from the beginning. "Well, as you know, I am a photographer and I sometimes work at events like weddings and stuff. That's where I met Louis. His music shop provides music equipment for parties and such, so we meet at those events from time to time. We weren't really talking in the beginning but we slowly got to know each other. One day he just seemed so down and I asked if everything was alright and then he told me that he was just ending a relationship and that he needed a new place to stay. So I offered him my spare room, I was thinking of getting a flat mate anyway. That's basically how we got to live with each other.

He seemed really off the first few months, barely leaving his room, always dark circles under his eyes, not eating properly. He also went to some sort of doctor once a week in the beginning. I tried to talk to him about it but he just shut down completely. So I let him be, trying to get him out of his shell and comfort zone from time to time. And it got better, at least I thought so. He began eating properly and he spent time outside the flat. That was around the time you asked me if I wanted to come to the cabin for Christmas break. And I told Louis about it when I came home from work. I actually asked for his advice because I really wasn't sure if I should come. I am really shy towards new people and the thought of spending two weeks with practically strangers in a cabin scared me. I was really surprised when Louis seemed to know you. I didn't know about Harry or anything. But as he seemed to know you guys at least a little I asked him if he would come with me to the cabin so that I wouldn't be alone with strangers."

He had to chuckle at that. Ever since he had started to work at the same company as Niall, he never felt uncomfortable around him. Their first collaboration on a project, Zayn as photographer and Niall as editor, really sparked their friendship and they grew only closer after that. So he shouldn’t have worried about spending two weeks with him. Also after only a few days at the cabin he really got to know the guys and didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

“Louis just said that he needed to think about it, so I gave him a week to decide. I knew you wanted an answer soon. When I spoke to him about it again he kept humming and hawing for a while before he told me that he could only join me if I pretended to be his boyfriend. I was pretty taken aback by that at first. It just didn't make any sense to me and he refused to give me an explanation. I really wanted to go to the cabin though, so after thinking about it I agreed to it."

Zayn took a glass of water and drank it in one gulp. Niall just bit his lip in pondering silence breaking another piece of chocolate, the bar nearly gone by now, so Zayn decided to continue.

“After that decision was made Louis' behavior changed once again. I don't know how to describe it properly but he was absentminded most of the time and kind of unresting. Then when we arrived at the cabin he grew really quiet and reserved. Not all the time, but more often than not. I just thought it was because of the boyfriend act or something. But then Liam asked me about Harry and Louis and the tension he had noticed between them and I started to pay attention to it as well. Louis pretty much seemed to ignore Harry whenever possible, always keeping a distance. Well, Harry isn't really subtle about his feelings so I caught him staring at Louis a couple of times. And then I started to notice that whenever Harry wasn't looking or paying attention Louis would look at him as well with an incredible softness in his eyes. Only ever for a few seconds then he looked away, seeming sad. I couldn't understand what was going on until I heard you two talking earlier. Now everything makes sense, well, kind of. Harry obviously still has feelings for Louis and I think that Louis never got over Harry. I think he still is very much in love with Harry."

Suddenly Niall began to laugh loudly. "Those two idiots! I can't believe it! Also, how could I have missed this? You’re right, it is so obvious. Harry loves Louis and Louis loves Harry, but instead of talking to each other, they both went crazy, needing fake boyfriends. God, I can't believe those two!"

Zayn chuckled at that thought as well. But after a moment he went quiet. “Niall, how can I go on pretending to be in love with Louis, when I know all this?” He bit his lower lip, suddenly feeling very bad about the whole thing. “Now that I know that whatever I do I will hurt Harry, how could possibly continue?” Niall seemed to think about that for a few minutes before he answered. “I guess I understand your point, but the both of them wanted it to be his way. Louis chose to leave Harry and he chose to come see him with a new, although fake, boyfriend. And Harry knew Louis would come with his boyfriend, but still decided to show up with Liam. So I think you shouldn’t worry about hurting Harry. They manage to do that all on their own. That isn’t your fault. Also Louis seems to depend on that cover to be around us and after what you told me about him being all down and depressed, I think it is good for him to finally be around people again. You’re just helping him a little. I guess the only thing I would change, if I really felt uncomfortable in this situation, is toning down the lovey-dovey behavior a bit.” “You mean less cuddling and teasing and stuff?” “Exactly.” And Niall’s proposition sounded doable, even kind of reasonable. Before Zayn could anything else Niall's stomach growled loudly. Niall clutched him immediately like he was a pregnant woman protecting her baby bump. "I really need something to eat. Let's make pancakes!" And with that he started searching the fridge for milk and eggs. "Harry will kill us tomorrow. You know everything is rationed because he had to bring it up here." Zayn tried to reason with him, but Niall just shrugged. "Maybe he will, but I know that he knows me better than anyone so he probably packed extra ingredients for pancakes anyway. And if not it's simply his fault, I mean he could have known!" Zayn just shook his head, looking really amused. “I’m not joining you for that. I really need to stay on Harry’s good side after what I learned tonight.” "Alright, alright! Good night then, I guess." Niall began stirring the ingredients together while Zayn made his way out of the kitchen, closing the door and slipping under his blanket on the couch.

 

While the whole cabin lay in silence and all others were asleep Niall sat at the kitchen table eating his freshly made pancakes. The thought of both Harry and Louis suffering from being separated bothered him so much that by now he had actually given up on the idea of a good night's sleep. There had to be a way to sort out the mess the two had created. Or technically Louis had created the mess, but after what Zayn had told him, Niall was even more concerned for the blue-eyed boy.

  
After going over the situation over and again he was fairly certain that he'd figured it all out. At some point in their relationship Louis had obviously seen a reason for the relationship not to work. After all Niall had seen the last few days and discussed with Zayn and Liam, he was certain that it weren't missing feelings.   
There had to be another, more practical reason. The only indication for something more serious that Niall could think of was that mysterious doctor's appointment that he had witnessed. But whatever it was Louis obviously had made a decision on his own, a very rational decision for that if he was willing to ignore both Harry's and his own feelings over it.Niall ran his hands through his hair. He really wished he could find a way to bring them back together. He had watched Harry closely ever since the relationship ended. At first he had been a mess. He had refused to eat or leave his room or to speak with anyone. After Louis had moved out of their shared apartment Harry had stayed in Niall's guestroom for weeks, not being able to stand the loneliness of his own apartment.

  
And even though he got better eventually, starting to live a normal life again, Niall could see the dark circles under his eyes, indicating another sleepless night. Harry had tried really hard to not let anybody know how much he still suffered but he couldn't fool Niall. He had known Harry since forever. He had seen many boyfriends and flings come and gone and of course he could tell if Harry was fully happy or not.

  
He would do anything to see Harry's eyes shine again, but he feared the only way to do that was to bring him back together with Louis. There had to be something he could do about that. Yes, Louis had made a decision, but decisions could be changed. If the feelings were still there then there had to be a way to fix this.Chewing his last pancake Niall suddenly had an idea. He nearly squealed but controlled himself, not wanting to wake up Zayn on the couch again. He grinned excitedly and then started to form a plan in his head. The Bring-Larry-Back-Together-Plan or short the BLBTP.The key to this plan was Louis' well-known jealousy. Back when Harry and Louis were together Louis had always been really protective and possessive when it came to Harry. And Niall was sure that if Louis feelings were still the same then he was controlling his jealousy at the moment. So all there had to be done, was to trigger Louis to lose his control over it.Niall knew it was a long shot but the slightest slip-up on Louis' side would be enough to make Harry aware of the situation and maybe that was all they needed to talk things through. Because as much Niall respected Louis' decision he still thought that Harry also deserved a say in it. So all Niall had to do was to make sure that Liam played his boyfriend role properly and let Louis witness firsthand how other men could make his Harry happy.

  
With a content smile on his lips Niall got up to finally go to bed. He would talk to Liam first thing in the morning, knowing the lad would be excited to help bring Louis and Harry back together.


	9. Chapter 8

The sun twinkled through the blinds, illuminating the room with soft light while Harry tried to pack all of his clothes in his bag as quiet as possible. Liam was still asleep on the bed. It was only 06:30am but Harry wanted to leave the cabin as early as possible, hoping to avoid seeing Louis again at all.

He was folding his jeans to fit them in the bag when his belt slipped to the floor and landed with a loud rattle. Harry cursed under his breath, keeping an eye on Liam who was tossing and turning in bed now. Harry held his breath, hoping that Liam would go back to sleep without realizing Harry was about to leave. He didn’t want a rerun of the conversation they already had the evening before. He knew that Liam didn’t want him to leave and he knew that he had to leave for his own good.

“Harry?” Liam was only croaking, sleep evident in his morning voice, but Harry jumped nevertheless. “Everything is alright, just go back to sleep.” Harry tried to talk Liam back to sleep so he could end his packing in peace but by now Liam had opened his eyes. “What are you doing?” Harry sighed, running his hands through his curls. He really needed to cut his hair after he returned home. “I’m packing my bags. I’m going to leave after breakfast.” He continued to pack the remaining things from his closet. “You don’t have to leave Harry.” “We already had this conversation, I believe.” “Yes I know, but I meant, that I will do it.” Harry looked up to Liam, slightly confused. But then it dawned on him what Liam was about to say. “I will pretend to be your boyfriend while we stay at the cabin.”

Hearing the words out loud Harry couldn’t help himself and jumped on the bed, almost tackling Liam to the floor. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Liam just shook his head at Harry’s excitement. “It’s alright. I’m doing this for Niall. Or better, I’m doing this for Hailee, and her boyfriend seems to need you desperately for that proposal.” He winked at Harry who just sat there with an open mouth. “You, you know about the proposal? But-” “Niall told me about it.” Before Harry could ask anything else there was a knock on the bedroom door. Seconds later Niall’s head appeared in the frame. “Good morning, you two! Liam, could I talk to you real quick?”

Liam nodded, slowly parting from the warmth of the bed. “Yes, I’m just going to the bathroom first. Give me a few minutes.” “Of course, take your time. I will talk to H in the meanwhile.” After Liam had closed the bathroom door behind him, Niall slumped on the bed next to Harry. His eyes glued on the half packed bag on the end. “Why are you packing?” Harry bit his lip. He didn’t know if he should tell Niall about Liam and him pretending to be boyfriends. But he decided it would be way less complicated if nobody knew about it. So he just shrugged and answered as lightly as possible. “Oh, I’m just unpacking. I haven’t had the time to do it yet.” Harry knew it was a bad lie and that Niall would see through it immediately, but somehow he didn’t press Harry for a real answer.

“So are you going to come skiing with us today? Nick, Olly and I really want to try out the mogul slope.” Harry frowned. He liked skiing, but he hated any slope that was too steep or risky. He hated it when he had to pay close attention to the ground beneath him, the ski-run too stressful to enjoy it properly. “I don’t know. Can’t we just start slowly, trying the easier slopes first?” Niall shook his head. “No, the mogul slope is only open when the weather’s good and the weather forecast says that it will start to snow in the afternoon, so we have to do it first.” The crease on Harry’s forehead deepened. He hated to ski when it was snowing. Maybe he would just stay back and prepare everything for Christmas Eve. With all of them out of the cabin he might actually get things done without any interruption. “I don’t know. I think I will just stay at the cabin today. That way I can have dinner ready when you come back.”

And funnily enough Niall just nodded, not trying to coax him to come along. “Okay, a good dinner to come home to sounds fantastic. I just hope that you won’t be bored all on your own.” Harry chuckled and nudged Niall. “I knew you only bring me to feed you.” “Well, I’m surprised you figured it out so late.” Niall grinned back at him. “Don’t worry about me. I can think of enough things I have to do till Christmas Eve. And I really should call my mum.” “Okay, good. Yes, you better tell her to tell my mum that I’m alright as well, I have no time to call her myself today.” “Alright.” They lay in bed together for a couple more minutes, both of them engrossed in their own thoughts. When Liam emerged from the bathroom, he and Niall left to talk before rounding up the others to go skiing.

 

After everyone was gone, Harry grabbed his phone. He’d decided to call his mum. It always helped him with his problems when he talked to her about them. Also, he’d promised to call at least once before Christmas. So he dialed his home number and waited for someone to pick up.

 “Hello?”

 “Oh, Gemma, you’re home?”

 “Hey Little! Yes, arrived yesterday. How are you? How‘s the cabin?”

 “Yeah I’m alright. The cabin is great as ever, you should have come!”

 “And let mum mourn her lost children? Never! I will sit here all Christmas, entertaining myself, while mum and Robin have the time of their lives. PDA should be prohibited up from a certain age!”

 “Sure, it sounds horrible. I’ll pray for you as always! Is mum home? I promised I would call her.”

 “Oh, no, she and Robin are out with some friends, I guess. But I can always pass the message. Maybe she can call you back.”

 “Oh yes, I will be at the cabin all day, so she can definitely call back.”

 “All day? Is the weather bad? Are the others there too?”

 “No no, the weather is fine. The others are out skiing.”

 “Okay, what is wrong?”

 “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong? Why should there be anything wrong?”

 “Oh come on Little, don’t even try to lie to me. I know you. Why aren’t you out with everyone else?”

 “Nothing’s wrong, I told you. I’m just preparing everything for Christmas Eve. Also they wanted to try out the mogul slope and you know I hate those.”

 “Really, so you need a whole day to prepare things that you normally prepare all together on one afternoon? Harry, cut the shit, what happened?”

 

Harry knew that she wouldn’t stop pressing until he told her everything. He sighed heavily.

 

“What is it? It can’t be too bad. Just tell me. I bet it isn’t as bad as you think, let me help you, baby brother.”

 “I hate it when you call me that!”

 “Well, it’s true, you are my baby brother and that’s why I have to take care of you, so spill the tea!”

 “Louis is here.”

 “What? You mean Louis Louis, your Louis?”

 “Not mine anymore, but yes that Louis.”

 “What is he doing here? Did you invite him?”

 “No, Niall invited his boyfriend and didn’t know that they were together.”

 “So he’s got a new boyfriend?”

 "Yes. Zayn is great.”

 “Okay, I don’t know how or why you sound so calm about this, but I will drive up there right now and cut off his balls! Who does he think he is? Coming there after what he did to you!”

 “Calm down Gem! It’s okay, I swear.”

 “Of course that’s why you’re at the cabin all alone while he is out there having fun with your friends! Niall should make him leave! In fact, I will call Niall this instance and tell him to make him leave!”

 “No really, it’s okay. Is it hard to have him around, to see him with his boyfriend? Yes, of course! But I have to move on some time, and the guys are his friends too. And somehow it is nice having him here despite everything.”

 “You’re way too good of a being, I swear. If someone did to me what he did to you, I would kill them!”

 “I know, that’s why you were grounded half of your time in high school. You always stand up for yourself and make the others suffer for their mistakes, but that’s not me.”

 “I know, Little, I know. But are you really okay with him being there?”

 “Well, I don’t know. We haven’t had a real talk or anything. I feel weird around him and then I feel weird for feeling weird. Yes, he hurt me, but right now I just want it to be over with, I wish we could be somewhat normal around each other. I think that would make everything way easier.”

 “You mean be friends?”

 “Well, yeah, I guess.”

 “Are you sure you can do that? Be just friends? I know how you feel about him.”

 “Yes, I know how I feel about him too. But being friends is the only chance to keep him in my life at all. And if I have learned anything from the past few months, then it’s that there is nothing worse than not having him in my life.”

 “So you would see past your feelings to make sure you still have him there?”

 “If that is what it takes then yes. But I just don’t know how I should do that. He seems just as reserved as I am.”

 “I don’t know if I can help you with that. I mean, you know him better than I do. But I guess, just try and be friendly, smile, talk to him like normal friends, just show him that it is okay for you to interact again.”

 “Yes, that sounds reasonable, I guess.”

 “You guess? Of course it sounds reasonable, it’s advice from me after all!”

 “And you are the wisest older sister on the whole planet!”

 “Exactly! I taught you well!”

 

Harry couldn’t help it but giggle at her matter-of-factly tone.

 

“So should I tell mum, that he’s there or will you tell her yourself?”

 “Oh no, please don’t. I think I will tell her myself when she calls!”

 “Okay good. Listen Little, I have to go now, I need to buy the last Christmas gifts.”

 “As always, way too late. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? The older, responsible sister buys the gifts and the younger brother just writes his name on there too?”

 “Well, I could write my name on your gifts, if you weren’t at that damn cabin all the time!”

 “You’re just jealous!”

 “Maybe I am. I really have to go now. Tell everyone Hi from me. And hit Niall for causing all this Louis trouble. And tell him that he and I will have a talk when you’re back!”

 “I will. Be easy on him, Gem!”

 “Never! Love you, Little. I’ll call you when I’m sitting under the Christmas tree all by myself, forced to watch mum and Robin being ridiculously in love.”

 “Alright! Love you too, Gem!”

 

An hour later, Harry was in the kitchen preparing everything to make cookies. He had turned the music up and danced around in his dotted apron, singing along to Shania Twain. He belted out the song, slightly off key, but he didn’t mind. It was no one there, who could possibly hear him. They were all out skiing. He was about to mix the sugar and flour, when a raspy voice behind him almost made his heart stop.

“Good morning.” Harry whipped around, hand clasped to his chest, trying to calm down from the scare. Louis was standing in the door, dressed in way too familiar checkered pajamas, his hair standing in all directions. “God, you scared me to death! What are you doing here? I thought you all went to go skiing together.” “I have a cold, I told Niall this morning and then decided to go to bed again and get some more sleep. I just woke up from your singing.”

Meanwhile Harry’s heartbeat was almost back to normal and he started to think rational again. “Right, do you maybe want breakfast? There are some eggs and toast left, and I could make you tea.” “Yes, breakfast would be great, thanks.” It was awkward, being so stiff and polite around each other, desperately trying not to say something wrong. Harry took a deep breath, loading the eggs and toast on a plate. He remembered what Gemma had told him: _“just try and be friendly, smile, talk to him like normal friends.”_ Easier said than done, but Harry was determined to at least try and get Louis back in his life, and if just as friends.

He hated how they felt all foreign and distant. With a smile he put the plate in front of Louis, who now sat at the kitchen isle right across. “Here you go.” Louis smiled at him, beginning to eat. “God, I missed your eggs! Mine will never be this delicious.” Harry’s cheeks turned the slightest bit pink, whether because of the compliment or because it was the first time that Louis had acknowledged their common past, he couldn’t decide. Unsure of what to answer, he just finished preparing Louis’ tea and then continued making the cookie dough.

It was silent for a few minutes. It was a bit weird but still so much better than it had been just the day before. They were making progress. Maybe they could interact like normal people again at the end of the holidays. Louis finished his breakfast when Harry just began forming the cookies. Louis watched how he formed a few then he stood up, washed his hands and grabbed some dough.

“What are you doing?” Harry frowned. Louis hated everything that involved the kitchen, he never helped voluntarily. “I’m making cookies, duh!” “But you hate cooking and baking.” “Yes, but I also hate boring round cookies. There have to be at least some animal shaped and maybe clouds, or triangles, or something Christmas themed. Also we could decorate them!” Slightly taken back by the excitement in Louis’ voice, Harry just shook his head in amusement. “But those are chocolate chip cookies, they don’t need any decoration.” Louis pouted, looking like a little child and Harry had to concentrate on forming the cookies or he would die from all the cuteness.

“Maybe we could make some later, which we can decorate?” “Yes!” Louis’ eyes lit up and he beamed at Harry. “Oh, we could make gingerbread houses and have a decoration competition!” Harry chuckled at so much enthusiasm. He didn’t know when Louis had discovered his love for baking, but he sure as hell knew that he had always loved a good competition. And he was so happy that Louis seemed okay with spending time together that he would have done anything to please him.

“Well, I’m afraid we do not have enough ingredients for a gingerbread house, but we could make gingerbread men.” “Even better. We can set a timer and then decorate on time. And when the others are back they have to judge who won. I will so bust your ass!” This time Harry laughed out loud, a real, genuine laugh, the first since they had arrived at the cabin. It was like a huge weight fell from his chest as the awkwardness between them slowly decreased.

After they finished forming the cookies, Harry’s perfectly round ones lying next to Louis’ odd looking ones, Harry put them I the oven, checking the timer. Louis began to cough quiet badly, his whole body shaking. Harry looked at him, obviously worried. “Don’t give me that look Harry, I’m an adult and perfectly capable of treating myself right.” Louis pressed out in between two coughs. Harry just raised his eyebrow and began making a cup of herbal tea. “I know you think so, but I also know it’s not exactly true. I’m making you a cup of tea, which you will drink without complaining, and then you’re going to take a nap while I’m cleaning the kitchen. When you wake up we can decorate gingerbread men. Also, you should put on a scarf.” To Harry’s astonishment Louis just sniffed and nodded, not even trying to disagree with him, while he waited for his tea.

 

In the afternoon Harry finished decorating the cabin and made a plan for the preparation of his Christmas menu, writing it down so everyone knew what they had to do. The gingerbread men lay in the kitchen next to the cookies, waiting to be decorated. Eventually Louis emerged from his room, wearing the blue scarf again. Harry did his best to ignore it, determined to not make the situation awkward again. They were getting along just fine this morning.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked as Louis inspected the cookies, stealing one. He just nodded, chewing and wiping crumbs on his lips. “Are you ready to decorate the gingerbread men then?” Harry watched Louis, still a bit unsure of how to act around him. “I mean, you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” “Are you kidding me Curly? Of course I want to, can’t wait to flash you with my decorating skills! And besides, you already made the gingerbread men, so they need to be decorated.” Louis smirked at him, his eyes glistening mischievously.

“Alright, then set the timer. There is no way in hell that you can compete with me. After all I’m the one who is responsible for cooking here.” Harry arranged all the different sprinkles, candies and icing on the kitchen isle, while Louis set their timer on twenty minutes. Each of them had to decorate four gingerbread men. They positioned themselves behind the kitchen counter, ready to grab the icing. “Ready, set.” Louis made a pause, increasing the tension and Harry huffed in annoyance. “GO!”

Fifteen minutes later the kitchen was a mess, sprinkles and candy lying on the floor because Louis had started to throw things at Harry once he realized that somehow Harry was way more skilled than he was himself. They both had icing in their hair and on their faces. Louis tried to bump Harry so that he would mess up. “Oi, Louis watch it or I have to disqualify you from the competition!” “You can’t proof anything! I’m innocent!” They were yelling and laughing, all awkwardness completely gone.

Just before the time ran out they heard the others coming back from their ski trip. But they both chose to ignore them completely while they tried to perfect their decorations. When the timer rang they both yelled at each other to stop decorating while continuing to put more candy on their own gingerbread men. They were again throwing gummy bears at each other when Niall and Nick entered the kitchen.

 

Later that night Harry lay in his bed next Liam and couldn’t stop smiling. He had an amazing day with Louis and he even won the decorating contest. Hopefully today was a sign that it was possible for him and Louis to be friends again. Sure he still had had the surge to grab Louis face and kiss him when he had seen him with all the icing on his nose and forehead, looking cute as ever, but he was willing to ignore that, hoping that eventually his feelings would go away. He fell asleep with a content sigh, dreaming of a beaming Louis.


	10. Chapter 9

The whole world seemed quiet. Snow kept falling gently, painting everything white. The sun that crept along the edge of the mountains, only just breaking the night, painted the scene in a soft, glowing light.

Only Harry was awake - all others still exhausted from yesterday - and busy in the kitchen. He had set his alarm clock to 5:30am this morning to give himself enough time to prepare the big day. Yawning, he began to put little candles on the carrot cake he had baked before. His hands still ached from grating all the carrots. The sacrifices one makes to make a special someone happy.

Just as he was finished, Harry heard someone coming down the stairs and a minute later Nick stood in the kitchen, sleep still in his eyes. “Wow, what happened here?” He took in all the colorful garlands that were hanging around the kitchen and the living area and then spotted the big, sparkling and slightly crooked “Happy Birthday!” writing above the piano. “What is going on? Whose birthday is it? Please say we’re not celebrating Jesus’ birthday!”

Harry cackled at Nick’s ridiculous idea. Turning Christmas into Jesus’ personal birthday party. Who would do such a thing? Still grinning he explained: “No! It’s Louis’ birthday and I thought we could celebrate it a bit today before we start with the whole Christmas stuff.” Nick nodded slowly, eyes still lingering on the decorations.

 “So when did you do all this? You even made a cake!” “I just stood up early, it’s fine.” Harry waved aside. “Oh, H.” Nick let out a deep sigh and lay his hand on Harry’s shoulder squeezing it. “No, don’t give me this look.” Harry shook his head, curls flying through the air. “But H, you know that he is with Zayn now, and that you won’t get him back by all this.” Nick stretched out his arms to point to all the decoration and the cake to emphasize his statement. #

But Harry just snorted and turned around to clean the kitchen. “Of course I know that Nick, I have been here the last few days just like you. And I’m not trying to get him back, I would have done this for every one of you.” He began scrubbing the cake pan, not even glancing in Nick’s direction. Nick eyed him suspiciously but didn’t reply. Instead he asked: “Can I help you with anything?” That brought back the little smile to Harry’s lips. “Yes, I thought a full English breakfast would be nice once they are all awake, so you could help preparing that.” “Sure thing.” Nick nodded, turned the radio on and began preparing the eggs.

 

“…happy birthday dear Louis, happy birthday to you!” The whole group was gathered round the kitchen table and singing while Louis sat before his birthday cake, hair disheveled, grinning from ear to ear, excitedly waiting to blow out his candles. Harry’s heart was beating fast, his chest full of pride as he saw how happy Louis was. He’d always loved to put that smile on Louis’ face and it had been a while since he was able to.

Louis blew out his candles, squeezing his eyes shut while making his wish. And oh, what Harry would give to know what Louis wished for. But it wasn’t his place to ask. Just a year ago he would have asked and Louis would have protested and refused to tell him (‘Nobody’s supposed to know. Don’t you want my wishes to come true, Curly?’) just to whisper it to Harry later at night when they would lie next to each other in bed. But it wasn’t a year ago and it wasn’t Harry’s place to ask anymore, so he bit his lip.

After that everybody started to eat breakfast and Nick bragged about his breakfast cooking skills, though obviously everybody knew that Harry was the main responsible for their delicious meal. The whole table was chatting lively with each other, making plans for the day. The weather was lovely and Louis wanted to go sledding. As it was his birthday the others agreed happily. Olly claimed to hold the record for the most won sledding races in a row and Niall, goaded by Hailee, challenged him.

Harry sat at his place, yawning again, and just watched his friends. He was glad that Liam convinced him to stay. He smiled to himself silently watching Niall trying to steal some toast from Hailee’s plate. His eyes wandered over a smiling Liam and an eating Olly to a sleepy Charlotte to finally land on Louis who sat at the end of the table like a little king, only missing his crown. He groaned while eating a piece of cake and Harry complimented himself on baking Louis’ favorite cake ever. While he sat there just watching the occurrence Zayn leaned in and whispered to him. “Thank you for making him happy, Harry. It’s good to see him smile again.”

Harry’s chest ached at that. Yes, he made Louis happy today, but there had been a time when he had made him happy every day and somehow that hadn’t been enough. He pressed his lips together for a moment. Then he braced himself and shot Zayn a shy smile.

 

It was late in the afternoon and the sun was already down when they returned to the cabin all freezing but happy. They had been out sledding the whole day and were now tired. And hungry as Niall reminded them every five minutes. “I swear I will starve! You have to feed me, I am too weak to eat myself!” Luckily Harry had prepared everything they needed for Pizza and so it didn’t take long to get the food ready.

They all sat on the floor in the living area, spreading out their sore limbs, eating Pizza and laughing. “So Tommo, I guess it’s time for your birthday presents!” Niall announced excited. And before anyone could say anything else he handed Louis a small envelope. “Thanks Nialler, you didn’t need to.” “Oh shut up, of course I needed to! Also you don’t even know if you like it yet, so stop thanking me!” “Alright, alright!” Louis chuckled while opening the envelope carefully.

He always tried to keep the wrapping of any gift intact, storing it in a box and reusing it to wrap gifts himself. In the envelope there was an orange plastic card, the size of a credit card. Louis knitted his eyebrows in confusion before his face lit up as he realized what it was. “A Nando’s gift card! Thank you, Nialler!” They all began to laugh while Niall just shrugged. “They have the best food!” He declared.

After the laughter died down, Nick cleared his throat. “Before anyone else gets their gifts out, I just wanted to say, happy birthday Louis. I’m sorry, but I didn’t know that today was your birthday or that you were coming in the first place, so I’m afraid I have nothing for you.” He shrugged and Olly agreed. “Yes, me too. Maybe we could invite you to a restaurant or something while we’re here.”

Louis just shook his head. “No that’s alright. I never expected anything for my birthday at all. To be honest I didn’t even think we would celebrate it. So, no need for gifts!” But Nick and Olly insisted on inviting him and after a little back and forth Louis agreed.

“Sooo, I guess it’s my turn now.” Liam chimed in, holding out a little parcel for Louis. “It’s nothing special, I just heard that it’s your birthday yesterday, so I had to make it work with finding something in the souvenir shop down at the cable car station, but I hope you’ll still like it.”

Harry watched Louis slowly unwrapping Liam’s gift, wondering what Liam had gotten for Louis. Harry knew that Liam was a really nice guy, but going down to the cable car station and buying a gift all by his own for somebody he only knew for three days was incredible kind of him. Finally Louis folded the wrapping paper apart and revealed a black, knitted fabric.

“A scarf, thanks Liam!” He proceeded to sling the black scarf around his neck and Harry’s smile faltered for just a second. “I noticed that your scarf looked a bit worn out, so I figured it would be useful.” Liam shrugged. Harry knew it was unreasonable, but seeing Louis replacing his self-made blue scarf so easily felt like a stab to his heart. Of course the blue scarf was uneven and had holes and probably was worn out by now, but it had taken Harry over a month to learn how to knit and finish it.

Before he could think about it anymore though, Zayn passed a long and flat envelope to Louis and kissed him on the cheek. “Here you go, Lou. Happy birthday.” “Thank you, Zaynie.” Louis was all smiles while he opened the envelope and pulled out two concert tickets. “It’s for the same group we went to in spring. We had so much fun, so I thought it was kind of our thing.” “I love it, thank you!” Louis put the tickets on the ground to kiss Zayn back.

It was then that Harry saw the group’s name written on the tickets: _Bring Me the Horizon._ It felt like someone tore his heart apart and he couldn’t help but stand up and stumble out the room, tears already streaming down his face. It was the group he and Louis had discovered together one afternoon, both immediately in love with their sound.

Harry had bought two tickets for Louis last Christmas to go see them. He was so excited to go to a concert together, seeing Louis sing and dance and just having fun. They had broken up before the concert took place and Harry forgot about the tickets, only remembering them a few days ago. Never would he have thought about Louis going with Zayn. Harry felt replaced, easily forgotten, not worth remembering. Of course he wasn’t Louis’ boyfriend anymore, but still, Louis going off and sharing memories they were supposed to make together with someone else hurt incredibly bad.

After several minutes the tears stopped running down his cheeks. Harry breathed deeply and went to the bathroom to fix himself. He was glad that nobody followed him, probably thanks to Niall who knew perfectly well when Harry needed to be alone. Once he washed his face and looked somewhat normal again, he reached under his bed, grabbing a thin, neatly wrapped parcel.

Harry didn’t know why he had bought the record, but now he was happy that he did. In March, three months after Louis had left, he had discovered a new store that sold vintage records. Browsing through the records without really looking for something in particular he had stumbled across this one. It reminded him of Louis immediately and although he had given up the hope of ever hearing from him again, Harry had bought it. He had never listened to it. It just had lain there at the back of his closet. Harry had found it while packing his things to go on the Christmas holiday and had packed it with all the other gifts.

Harry went downstairs again. Not feeling quite ready to join the others again he sat on the bottom stairs and watched his friends chatting with each other. While all the others were sitting around the Christmas tree, he noticed Louis silently slipping through the kitchen door. He probably was making another cup of tea, he was addicted to the stuff. S

lowly Harry stood up and followed him, taking the carefully wrapped record with him. For a moment he stood in the kitchen door, unsure how to open the conversation. But then Louis turned around and spotted him, smiling surprised. “Hi”, he said so quietly that Harry almost missed it. “Happy birthday Lou!” Harry simply said and handed the gift to Louis.

“You bought a gift for me?” Louis’ eyes jumped from the gift to Harry to the gift again. Harry smiled sadly: “Saw it in a store months ago, it reminded me of you. I hope you’ll like it.” Then he turned around to leave. “Harry.” Louis still hadn’t moved, the expression in his eyes telling so much more than he ever could have said. “Thank you.” And with that Harry left, nearly fled the kitchen, not being able to be so close to Louis, seeing his eyes, feeling so comfortable around him.

 

~

 

Back in his room Louis shut the door behind him and stood there for a minute, feeling paralyzed. He was thankful that he got to sleep on the bed tonight, craving the privacy of four walls surrounding him. He sat on the edge of the bed for a while, looking back on his day.

Unexpectedly, it had been a really nice birthday. Thanks to Harry of course. Harry and the hurt in his eyes when Louis had replaced his scarf with Liam’s gift. Remembering he was still wearing it Louis ripped it off his neck like it was suffocating him. Then he grabbed his old blue one and buried his nose in it, breathing in like somehow because Harry had made it it still held his smell. It didn’t.

When he didn’t feel like suffocating anymore he opened his eyes and they landed on Harry’s gift for him. His fingers were shaking when he tried to gently open it. It was a record. He turned it and it hit him like a brick when he read the title.

 

_Louis didn’t believe in love at first sight, never had, never would. This was what he thought about as he stood inside his record store and sorted a gazillion records, placing them in the right places. As Elvis smiled at him from one of the covers, Can’t Help Falling in Love with You written beneath his face, Louis couldn’t help but wonder, if that feeling really existed and if he would ever be lucky enough to experience it. He didn’t think so._

_The thought didn’t make him sad. He’d got everything he needed and more. He’d got his own record store, something he’d wished for since he had been 13 and had started his very own record collection with the help of his grandpa. He’d got his friends, whom he had known for all his life. And he’d got his family, six sisters and one brother. And his mother who was always there for him no matter what._

_So yes, he had everything he could wish for. He didn’t feel like something was missing. All of this shot though his head when a guy he’d never seen before entered his store. Curious as he was, Louis tried to get a good glance at the guy, to no avail. Only when he seemed lost in front of one of the bookshelves Louis had the heart to approach him._

_He was in the middle of his standard sentence when the guy with the mob of curly hair decided to turn around to face him. The boy in front of him was gorgeous. And yes it was a boy. Okay, he was taller than Louis and he dressed like his grandpa, sporting an oddly patterned button-down shirt, but there was something so soft about him that Louis couldn’t bring himself to call him a man._

_The boy was in fact so gorgeous that Louis temporarily forgot how to speak. But the trained salesman he was he caught himself fast. He tried really hard not to stare in the strangers eyes. He didn’t want to come across as creepy. “Customer is king!” He reminded himself. “Act normal, he is just another human being!”_

_Except this human being had big green eyes, soft brown curls and lips to die for. And then he spoke, well, he stuttered, and his deep voice was a great contradiction to the sweet blush that showed on his cheeks while he told Louis which book he was looking for. Louis didn’t even know if the boy was remotely interested in males. But on the off chance that he was gay Louis tried to showcase his best feature, his curves, more so his butt, while he lead the way over to the right bookshelf._

_He felt like winning the lottery when he caught Curly ogling his butt. He’d got a chance! And maybe Curly was in fact gay. While he searched for the right book Lois tried to make a little conversation, determined to get as much information about that beautiful boy as possible. And while Curly continued to stutter, blushing madly every time he as much as glanced at Louis, Louis asked himself if it was possible to die of cuteness. Completely enamored with him Louis couldn’t help himself but stare after him while Curly left his store._

_And the thing was, Louis really didn’t believe in love at first sight but maybe, just maybe he started believing in love at first buy or talk or blush. And while he continued stacking the rest of the records he felt like something was missing after all and he hoped the curly haired boy would come back. He really really hoped._

 

All the memories washing over him Louis suddenly felt the unbearable need to hear the song again, so he reached for his phone and let it play. Elvis familiar “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You” wavered through the room and right through him. It took him way back.

 

_The floor lamp hardly lightened the dimly lit room. Everywhere stood boxes and wrapped furniture. The whole flat was a total mess. Outside the sun had set an hour ago but they weren’t nearly finished yet. Louis and Harry sat on unopened boxes looking at the chaos before them. “Let’s start with the bathroom and the mattress, so we can sleep.” Harry sighed and stood up. Louis only grunted._

_He knew he shouldn’t be cranky and that he definitely shouldn’t let it out on Harry. He knew that Harry was just as tired as he himself and that he should be head over heels because they just moved in together. And he was, he really was, but the tiredness was too heavy. Suddenly Harry took Louis’ phone and started tapping._

_Louis was just about to ask what he was doing when the familiar sounds of Elvis filled the room. “Dance with me.” Harry reached out for Louis’ hand. “What?” Louis just stared but Harry didn’t take his hand away. And so he grabbed Harry’s hand and was pulled in immediately._

_And then they danced. Between all their unopened boxes and disassembled furniture. Despite everything they should be doing. Just them and Elvis blasting Can’t Help Falling in Love with You through the air. And the words Elvis sang felt so true. Yes, everyone thought they were rushing this, moving in together after only a few months, but Louis knew this was it. Harry was it for him. He couldn’t help falling in love with him every day a bit more._

_And the moment felt perfect. No, it was perfect. Except he didn’t like the sound his phone made, felt that nothing would ever beat the sound of a real record, a needle scratching over vinyl. He complained about it, like every honorable record store owner would. Harry only laughed, having that fond look in his eyes that Louis craved like the warmth of the sun on cold winter days. “I’ll buy you the record, love, I promise.”_

 

He kept his promise.

Louis didn’t realize when his tears started to flow, only when his cheeks were completely wet he reached to brush them off. And suddenly he felt indefinitely tired.

Tired of this Christmas holiday.

Tired of his stomach clenching, his chest hurting and his heart bleeding every time Liam made Harry laugh.

Tired of Liam making Harry happy when it should have been him.

Tired of the make believe with Zayn. Of actually enjoying it because it would be the last thing he would ever have something that felt remotely like a relationship.

Tired of sleeping on the couch because he’d insisted on sleeping separately because he only ever wanted to share his bed with Harry.

Tired of pretending like Harry wasn’t the love of his life.

But then he remembered that he had to. He had to pretend. For himself. And for Harry.

Most of all for Harry.


End file.
